Losses, fans, and (a lack of) graciousness in defeat

US Open 2015 final: Novak Djokovic beats Roger Federer.

These were the first words I saw on my screen when I switched on my mobile phone in the morning.

Another loss. Third straight loss for Federer in a Grand Slam final. He has now lost his last three Grand Slam finals to the same player, Novak Djokovic. I was not surprised. Djokovic had performed magnificently at the Grand Slam finals this year, the French Open final being the only exception where he had been outdone in brilliance by Stan Wawrinka. No, it was not a surprising result at all.

My Twitter timeline, however, was in meltdown. It was worse on Facebook. Most of them were Federer fans who were bitterly disappointed and sad. They had every reason to be. Federer's form in Cincinnati, the only pre US Open tournament he had opted to play had been nothing short of brilliant. Hope for an 18th Grand Slam had been ignited and an uninspiring performance by Federer in the US Open final had snuffed it out again. But the name calling and slurs were uncalled for. Calls for Federer to quit were even more grating. I realized how the concept of graciousness in defeat did not limit to players only, but was extended to their supporters as well.

As sports lovers we tend to get carried away when supporting our favourite players and teams. It is human psyche to look up to winners and to associate oneself with them. In many countries, sports personalities are seen as heroes, idols, sometimes even as demigods. Heroes, idols, gods don't lose; they can't lose, they shouldn't lose.

Yet sports people are mere mortals and losses do occur. Being a Pakistani, cricket has always been a big part of my life, and Pakistanis often do not take losses in cricket well. Stories of slogans being raised against cricketers, their effigies being burnt, and houses being pelted with stones following high profile losses are well known. What we often forget in the flow of emotions are the players. Isn't it only natural that they feel overcome with emotion more strongly than the fans around the world? It is hard to forgo the image of Pakistan test captain Misbah-Ul-Haq's trembling lips and teary eyes on the TV screens following Pakistan's loss to Australia at the quarterfinal stage of the 2015 cricket world cup.

Dealing with losses isn't easy generally. Just ask Roger Federer who wept bitterly at the
2009 Australian Open trophy presentation ceremony following a tough five-set loss to Rafael Nadal. Or Andy Murray, who couldn't keep a lid on his emotions during the post match ceremony after losing the 2012 Wimbledon final. Crying after a loss is not a sign of weakness. More often than not, it is caused by disappointment after build-up of hope, expectation and the tension caused by it. What is important is how one picks oneself up after defeat. It is very easy to fall into a mire of negativity and self-doubt following a loss, and just as hard to take a loss on the chin and put it behind you. According to Federer's coach and other team members, Federer is pretty good at putting losses behind him and keeping negativity at bay. He himself has stated at numerous occasions that he prefers to take away positives from tournaments despite defeat and does not believe in looking back. Still, despite players often possessing superior mental strength than most individuals, they have sometimes given way to self-doubt. Federer struggled with it throughout 2013 following injuries. Nadal seems to be struggling with it in the current season following a dip in form.

Fans generally go through the stages of grief, denial, and acceptance following a loss. Denial usually comprises of lack of acceptance of the simple fact that the other team or player was superior than the one they were supporting. Acceptance doesn't come to all fans. A lot of fans remain in denial till the next match comes around and beyond.

Roger Federer will be fine and will be back playing soon. His fans will be all right too, and before they know it, will be counting down the days to the next tournament he plays. But rules don't change. There can only be one winner at the end of the day.

"Sometimes the only way to prove that you are a good sport is to lose." - Ernie Banks.